Now that that's out of the way ---
Hi Everyone,
I just finished reading reading Peter Ragnar's book The Awesome Science of Luck for the third time. It's thought-provoking to say the least. So much so, I'm writing this blog after a nearly one-year absence.
Today, I'm writing about what I believe is the reality of luck.
There are many people walking around with a "whoa is me" attitude. Blaming everyone and everything for their issues. Not taking personal responsibility for anything. Do you ever notice that everything that happens to them is everyone's fault but their own. Their blame list is endless.
When they get sick or they have a dirty car, they BLAME their kids. When they don't get the new job or promotion, they BLAME discrimination or favoritism. When they get fired, they BLAME a bad company or boss. (And usually the same boss they've worked with for years. Must have been awful!) When they fall down in the workplace, they BLAME their employer and sue them for millions of dollars. When they get heart disease, they BLAME the stress supposedly inflicted upon them by other people. (Has nothing to do with sugar or fast food of course.) When they're kids act up, they BLAME the kid's friends or those damn teacher's who have no control of their classroom. (Yes of course, your kid is being influenced by that one bad kid in the class. Yours is perfect!)
The list goes on and on.
Oh...let's throw in one more --- How about when someone is overweight and blaming stress, their kids, or the fact they just have no time to exercise. Oh and let's not forget, they were brought up by fat parents. People in their 20s, 30, 40s, 50s and older still use this sorry, lame excuse. Mom and dad caused all my issues --- puhleez! And this is the same person who can tell you what's going on with American Idol, Survivor or that other intellectually-stimulating program Dancing With The Stars! Maybe it's time to get off the couch and move around! Perhaps clean you house occasionally and you'll burn some calories. The fad diet won't do Jack! :-)
Now I understand that everyone wallows in negativity from time to time. Anyone can have a lapse every now and then. Sometimes the ball just doesn't bounce their way. It happens. I get it. This blog is about the ones who are chronic complainers, whiners, pissers and moaners. Unfortunately, this is one HUGE group that is destroying our society.
I always wondered how it is that this group of whiners and moaners, who then blame the world for everything, manage to co-exist in a world where many people are succeeding and living their dreams --- while taking responsibility for the whole kit and caboodle. (You know --- the supposedly lucky ones!)
From the best I can see, with over 20 years working with people in the self-help world, we've become an oversensitive society filled with people who are uneducated, lazy, drugged and liquored up, and always walking around with their hand out.
The two questions are...
1. How did they get that way?
2. What can they do about it? (Ah -- my favorite part of this whole blog!)
Let's start with number one. How did they get that way?
While there are some people that are just plain lazy and unproductive --- I do not believe these are the main reasons. In my work with thousands of people, I have found one thing to be more people's nemesis than anything (and they don't even realize it) --- NEGATIVE PROGRAMMING!
All around us are people telling us that we cannot do things.
Let's explore some of these culprits...
The media! This includes news shows, books, magazines, websites, cable - all of it. You may not know it, but they are giving you viewpoints and perspectives very strategically! Let me give you a great example you may not know about. Did you know that critics are told how to rate movies? The media owns the movie studios. And depending on which media you're tuned into, they will recommend the movie their parent company produced. AND they'll give a thumbs down to a movie from another studio! Just try to find a negative story about Rupert Murdoch on FOX or Disney on ABC. It won't happen --- they own the stations. You are being manipulated.
Did you ever wonder why small kids are as out of control as they are? Today's video games promote violence and abuse. Kids are being manipulated to be violent. And it shows in the schools. Why is it that unlike years ago, kids now enter schools in metal detectors? Why are more kids than ever carrying guns and knives? Why is violence in school worse than ever? Do you think this is by accident? I just watched a little kid innocently access two video games online recently. One showed images of a person being cut in half and one allowed him to shoot arrows through someone's head. You see the whole bloody mess. At least this kid was caught and told "no" by his dad! How many go unsupervised? Hmmmmmm.
Isn't it interesting how the media portrays family life on popular TV shows? Find one popular show that portrays families in a positive light. Can you name one? And how many others are programming you to think of the family unit as a disrespectful joke or that fathers are blundering fools? Here are a few examples: Wifeswap, Family Guy, Married With Children, South Park, or any soap opera!
Here are some other culprits which I'm going to lump together ---
Friends, family, lovers, and co-workers! If you think the majority of these people generally give a rat's rear about you, think again! These are the worst when it comes to negative programming. They hide under the guise of CARING or CONCERNED! They are far from it. How many times have people close to you told you that you should not start a business? How many have told you that you should not make a late career change? How many have talked you out of going back to school or going to college? Don't do, don't do that! Blah, blah, blah!
Heck, if I listened to all the supposedly well-meaning family and friends, I would never have accomplished much of anything. I was told never to leave UPS. Never to run marathons. Not to workout so hard. Not to skydive, buy sports cars, run around with wild women, write books, or do anything else. Who the hell cares what these people think? This is your life! Let them wallow in the abyss of mediocrity!
The punch line is that most of these people have nothing, done nothing and are nothing. AND they want you to do the same. Yes there are some exceptions --- but not many. The truth is that most people do NOT want you to be any more successful than they are. And most are not successful by any stretch! This is a fact of life --- deal with it.
I recently heard a story about someone whose parents would not pay for their college unless they took the degree program the parent's requested. This is after telling the student they can take what they want. I think it is a parent's prerogative to decide to pay for a degree - I get that and support that 100%. But don't mess with your kid's head for God's sake. You never know what your kid may end up doing!
This is negative programming at its worst. Personally, I've gotten to the point where I just do things and tell people about it later if necessary. I also tend to walk away from non-inspiring conversations --- which is 99% of them. And people wonder why I prefer the kid's table! :-)
The drug and pharmaceutical companies! Here lies the worse of the worse when it comes to caring about your health and well-being. You cannot trust them at all! They want you drugged. They want you on medication because it's good for profits. They knowingly release drugs with toxic side effects and feed them to people like food. Anyone on prescription pharmaceutical drugs is an instant drug addict. This is just a fact. This is why people on these drugs cannot just stop taking them at will. No, no, no! The drug dealing doctor will never let you do that because they know what they've done to you.
People on psychiatric drugs are in the worst shape of all. Your brain is no longer your own. Your body chemistry is no longer natural. This is why most people on these drugs sleep their life away.
Which leads me to ---
Psychiatrists! Or should I say --- modern day drug dealers. Let's bring a person in with some issues, tell them they have a disease, and put them on drugs for the rest of their life. The heck with the cause of the issue --- drug them so they never think about it. Hell --- how is this different from someone taking cocaine or smoking marijuana to ease their pain? Why not just take a hammer to your head? You become just as brain-dead on drugs anyway.
And these modern day drug dealers are doing this to our nations youth with drugs like Prozac and Ritalin. Anyone prescribing drugs to young developing minds, you should be put in jail. (By the way, look up the suicide rate of people seeing shrinks. The numbers are staggering.)
And this leads me to some other culprits for negative programming ---
Teachers and guidance counselors! I know there are exceptions. No question. My experience with these people has always been bad to questionable. Especially when I was at Maine South High School in Park Ridge, IL. What a sorry bunch of counselors. I remember one counselor named (yes, I'll name him) William Zybell. What a piece of work. This annoyance had the nerve to tell me that the best I can do is a career in the Army at the lowest level. Nothing against anyone in the Army --- you soldiers are incredible. But if you would have taken 15 minutes to talk to me, you know I was not Army material. I was just very creative, social and was not learning well from the teachers I was assigned. I had many teachers who may have had knowledge - but not many had a clue how to teach an eclectic bunch of students. If I was so bad, why did I get straight "A"s in college after a less than average high school career? You do the math - no pun intended.
The church and Bible! Yikes to anyone buying into this overblown fairytale. About all that's worth believing is that something or someone start it all. After that...you may as well read a Disney fairy tale. It has as much value as the Bible. If the Church was so powerful and all-mighty, then why do we have more deaths tied into organized religions than anything else? Holy wars? Puhleez! How about the Catholic priests? Many are proven disgraceful. I can assure you that nothing holy is going on in your local church.
Heck...your marriages are not even sanctioned by the church. The federal government even took away all their power. For those of you "marrieds" - remember the line, "By the power of the state, I know pronounce you..." Not by the power of the church. Why? There is no power outside of what you give it.
I'd love to meet one religious person who lives by the Bible anyway. They equate to the broke person running around giving financial advice.
And this is just a small list!
Now here I sit and many call me "lucky."
Some say I'm lucky for good health. Not really. I've had my share of issues. It's not lucky that I eat fairly well. Watch my weight and workout several times a week.
Some say I'm lucky for my career. Not really. To get to be one of the most popular promoters in the self-help industry, I've worked for years on my craft; promoting authors for 20 years. I've written tens of thousands of pages of proven sales copy over the past 20 years. I've done everything I had to do to make the relationships I have in my industry. I wasn't sitting home saying "whoa is me" in the early days! I've read every marketing book and taken classes to further my craft. Lucky? Yeah right.
Some say I'm lucky to have books published. Oh yes...I must have read silly books like The Secret and wished for all my books and audio programs to be produced. Oh yes, I read The Secret, and all of a sudden, all my work magically appeared just ready for publishing. Get a life my friend.
Some say I'm lucky for not ever having financial problems. Not really. I diligent about earning money and very careful how I spend it. That's not luck - that's being wise. I also do not loan money to anyone. Never have, never will - especially family and relatives. Not only will you never see it again; chances are, that will mark the end of the relationship. Not to mention, giving a broke person money does nothing but perpetuate the problem. What they need to do is learn to earn more and spend less. Not exactly rocket science. (But you can't do it and watch American Idol at the same time!)
And as far as all this Law of Attraction non-sense. Here's the hard fact ----
Wishing for something for nothing is a waste of time. You need to do your part - whatever that is for you. I do not remember wishing for anything and having it come true without working hard and smart!
Peter Ragnar makes an interesting comment in his book...
"What you want wants you."
I agree; we'll sort of. It should read ---
"What you want, will come to you, when you meet it halfway."
So let's get to number two and wrap this blog up ---
2. What can they do about it?
To reverse negative programming, here are some PROVEN, RESULTS-ORIENTED suggestions ---
Turn off the TV and stop listening to the media! (The media are just plain manipulators. AND if your life is in shambles, you do not have the time to waste watching TV or cable. Get to work!)
Tune out supposed CARING, CONCERNED friends, family members and co-workers! (If anyone says something negative to you, run the other way. These people are life vampires. They suck the very life out of you. Also, take a look at what they're accomplishing and you'll quickly find they are not speaking from any level of credibility anyway. Case closed on them.)
Ignore the drug ads and stay away from prescription pharmaceuticals. These are legalized poisons. They do nothing but make you seem healthier for a very short time. Look at the side effects. You are killing yourself and not thinking with a sound mind.
Never see a psychiatrist! This is a legalized drug dealer and pill pusher. Enough said.
Take the Church for what it is --- a nice place to meet people and network. The Bible is an unproven, highly-profitable fairytale. If there's any truth to it - prove it. It's all programming.
Teachers and guidance counselors! Most teachers teach as a result of not being able to do. There are many good teachers out there. There are also some horrific ones. A typical example for our purposes is the business teacher who never owned a business. Also, take the advice of guidance counselors with a grain of salt. They are not the end-all, be-all when it comes to accomplishment or what someone is capable of.
Some other quick thoughts when it comes to reversing negative programming to get lucky ---
If one of your staff members are negative --- FIRE them! (They are a living Cancer in your company.)
- If people come into your home and are not positive, ask them to leave right away.
- If people call you on the phone and treat you poorly, hang up the phone. (Don't let others problems be your own.)
- Take criticism with a grain of salt and consider the source. (Happy, well-adjusted people with your bet interests at heart, will not criticize you. They will speak to you in a caring, genuine way.)
- When people tell you something negative about someone else, understand they are stirring the pot and trying to get a reaction out of you. (I only judge people on how they treat me. Not someone else's biased opinion. Always check the facts - they rarely line up when someone has a misguided agenda.)
- Stop whining and get to work on your dreams and goals. (If you're life is not working - it's because you are not working. Stop blaming everyone else)
- Please do not make your kids where helmets when bike riding or schedule play dates! (Kids are becoming pansies. Toughen them up to face life. Also, let kids learn to schedule their own time away from the video games, with other kids. Play dates are a silly concept. Kids need to learn to do things for themselves, like they used to before mom and dad got into their business.)
And finally...
- Stop telling the world about your problems. (In reality, people do not care and get sick of listening to you anyway. Talking about your problems, perpetuates them. Solve them! You are negatively programming yourself)
Me, I'm not perfect. But I do notice something...
""THE SMARTER AND HARDER I WORK, THE LUCKIER I SEEM TO GET!"
Please share some of your thoughts and experiences with me at contact@peterwink.com or email me on Facebook.
Gotta run!
Until next time...
Peter
http://www.peterwink.com/
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